In the Waiting

This is my theme song right now:

The gift nobody longs for, still it comes
And somehow leaves us stronger
When it’s gone away

I try and pray for Your will to be done
But I confess it’s never fast enough for me

It seems
the hardest part is waiting on You
When what I really want
Is just to see Your hand move

I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
And let me know that it’s okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting

Time to let it go and just believe
Trusting in what no one else but You can see

Freedom from the fears that close me in
When I can’t get beyond where I have been, but then

The silence doesn’t mean that I’m alone
As long as I can hear
That I am still Your own

—–Vicki Yohe

Asking for help is not my style. I am way more prideful that I ever knew. I am the one who helps. HA! God is really showing me with this process to see Brittany.

I thought being willing to go to a place way out of my comfort zone would be enough. I thought being willing to ask would be enough. But I am realizing that I need to fully surrender. And that is the hardest part for me.

“Let Go, Let God.” Four simple words but oh so difficult for a control freak like me. “Be Still and know I am God. ” I DO know He is God, but I still want to control. “Not my will, but Yours Lord” again hard for me.

I give it over and then I take it back. I’m not patient, I’m not being still.

I am fasting, it does not matter what I gave up, I wanted to have a clear head. Be able to pray and listen so I gave up two things that had gotten a little out of control in my life.

And Yet………I’m still in need of help. So I am surrendering to His will. This will be my last blog for fundraising. I am going to trust that my funding will come through and I will be on a plane Sunday.

I am going to stop trying to control all of this, I knew I could not do this by myself. I need help.

So here is my link:

Thank you to everyone who has helped so far and those who will help to get me there.


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